Some more on Compassion...

Common definitions of compassion read like the following: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken with misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. To me this definition creates the idea that compassion requires us to join another in their misery, as if to be miserable ourselves. How does one go about this as Christ would? How do we know we are effectively helping those in need? We may need a definition of compassion that is more powerful. The point I’m trying to make is that for true compassion we will have to expand our understanding so we don’t mistakenly create more sorrow from suffering.

What if compassion is simply the active expression of acceptance for the world and people just as they are? I am reminded of the movie Lars and The Real Girl . In the movie the main character has major social and detachment issues. His sister in law obviously has what most would call true compassion for him and his situation. It seems that Lars has a difficult time watching his brother and sister-in-law grow closer and enjoy life together. As he peers out the window of his garage-turned-apartment (which used to be his parents but they passed away recently), it as if his life is meaningless. He then proceeds to purchase a mail in, anatomically correct, life size doll, to be his girlfriend. As the story unfolds, the people in the town, especially his family, don’t waste time with telling him he’s messed up in the head. They play along with the whole plot, inviting him and his fake love to dinner and all types of community outings. They completely accept him for where he is at in his own life journey. They whole heartedly respect his wishes and they make it a point to let him know that his life is important to them. Eventually Lars stages a funeral for her, and the whole town is relieved to realize that he's moving on to a "real girl". I think the key to this movie is the community motivation to stick it out with him for as long as he was stuck! True compassion is being able to look at the whole world without expectations that it should be any different. We can still hold a vision of possibility for the world, but we don’t use it as a standard of comparison for rejecting where the world is right now. In this way we can avoid the personal emotional reactions that create sadness, sorrow, pity, and what I’ve recently realized in my own life: bitterness.

When there are these emotions, compassion has turned into personal unhappiness and only adds to suffering. Feeling the emotional pain of another doesn’t relieve their suffering. I wonder if in all actuality it adds to the collective field of unconsciousness, creating suffering. If someone is suffering from hunger then it is more appropriate to provide nourishing food. If they are thirsty, provide them something to drink. If someone is in emotional pain bring your love and unconditional acceptance. It would not help people for the caretakers to go hungry and thirsty also. It would have been extremely worthless for the whole community to buy fake girlfriends and join in Lars's misery. However, it seems this is often the approach people take with their empathy or sympathy when people are without love and acceptance. When caretakers have emotional reaction of sadness or sorrow they nourish no one. A compassionate person brings the nourishment of love and acceptance to the situation that is starving for those emotions until someone can feed themselves.

Sometimes the best action you can take to help relieve emotional suffering of another is being present with your attention on the person and say nothing. Oddly enough modern physics tell us that our attention transforms experience. Although slow, other options driven by impatience and reaction usually create more chaos.

　

Luke 15:20 So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Compare

Luke 15:1-2 [1] Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. [2] But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."

1 John 2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Good Samaritans

We are all on a road; maybe not the road from Jerusalem to Jericho, but a road none the less. And, the road we are on is the road of life. I wish I could tell you that the road is safe, I wish I could tell you that there is nothing that will harm you; but, I can't. Because the road of life is infested with thieves, thieves that will rob you of your hope, your faith, your joy... Thieves that will break your heart and leave you for dead. I'm afraid that there is nothing that can be done about the thieves. There are just way too many of them. And besides that, they wear cloaks of hypocrisy that prevent their detection.
In the parable, the good Samaritan is one who has not been attacked by thieves. But the sad truth is, on the road of life thieves have caught up with everybody at least once. All of us have wounds, all of us have scars, all of us have been robbed of some piece of ourselves. But, the most valuable thing we posses is the one thing no thief can take away and that is our compassion. Yet, we treat compassion as if it were a gold bar that needs to stay locked up in our hearts. Never showing it to anyone for fear that we will lose it. But, the thing is; compassion not shown is lost already. Like the religious men who walked by on the other side of the road; we walk by each other everyday. Knowing that thieves have done their wicked deeds, showing hardly the slightest glimmer of compassion for one another.
Wounds of the heart are like wounds of the flesh. At the first sight of blood our instinct is to look away in disgust and avoid getting any of that blood on us. But, the instinct of compassion is different. When one we love bleeds we don't care how much blood we get on us, we don't avoid the situation. We just do whatever we can to help, even if we really don't know how.
I knew a man once, he's dead now. But, he is a perfect example of compassion. One day his friend had a horrible accident and was bleeding so bad that he was suffocating on his own blood. And out of compassion, this man sucked the blood out of his friends lungs with the only thing that he had available; his mouth. It saved his friends life.
Wounds of the heart may not bleed, but they are just as messy. And we can not act with compassion without getting some "blood" on us.
More than anything else, my vision for our community is that we are a people given to compassion. More than anything else, I want to be part of a community of Good Samaritans.